


Would You Rather...

by sapphose



Series: The Game Is Afoot [4]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, One Shot, quickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26128282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphose/pseuds/sapphose
Summary: Aboard the Defiant, Julian tries to pass time by teaching Garak the human game of "would you rather".
Relationships: Julian Bashir & Elim Garak, Julian Bashir & Jadzia Dax & Elim Garak, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Series: The Game Is Afoot [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838269
Comments: 15
Kudos: 94





	Would You Rather...

**Author's Note:**

> This one is not quite like the others, but I hope you enjoy it anyways! I was in the mood for something a little silly.

“So you say which thing you would rather do.” This was the simplest set of rules Julian had explained yet, rendering Garak’s skepticism disproportionate.

“What’s the point? The other games could be used to gain information or embarrass someone. Why play this?”

“For fun, Garak.”

“Fun,” Garak repeated doubtfully. “Forgive me, but I fail to see the appeal.”

It was a stretch, Julian had to admit. This one was childish and probably wouldn’t hold interest for very long. Still, duty on the _Defiant_ required that crewmembers make their own entertainment, and he was willing to rise to the challenge.

“Here, I’ll give you an example. Would you rather eat jellied gree worms or bithool gagh?”

Garak grimaced.

“Neither, if I can help it.”

Personally, Julian agreed with that assessment, but it didn’t follow the rules.

“You have to pick one or the other. Imagine that you don’t have access to any other food.”

“Why not? Are my captors attempting to torture me, or do they simply not understand basic Cardassian nutrition?”

Julian rolled his eyes.

“It’s not that complicated. You’re missing the point.”

“What’s Garak missing?”

Julian and Garak looked up in unison. For a moment, Julian had forgotten that the mess hall of the _Defiant_ was as public as the replimat back on the station. Garak tended to have that effect on him.

“Hello, Jadzia. I’m trying to explain ‘would you rather’ to Garak.”

“Oh, it’s been ages since I’ve played that!” She deposited her tray on the table and sat without waiting for an invitation.

“You know this game?” Garak asked incredulously. Jadzia nodded with vigorous enthusiasm.

“I’ve spent enough time around humans to pick it up. What’s the question this round?”

Julian wished he had a PADD, so he could covertly send Jadzia off the way he had when he first met Leeta. Here, he had to settle for staring intently and telegraphing _get lost_ with his eyes.

“Jellied gree worms or bithool gagh,” he summarized, trying to sound as unwelcoming and curt as he could.

If Jadzia noticed, she was pretending not to.

“I thought the replicators didn’t have Klingon recipes yet.”

Julian groaned and brought his hands up to his face, covering his eyes with his palms. Why did Kira have to be off-duty now too?

“They don’t. We’re playing a game,” Jadzia explained.

“What’s wrong with him?” Kira jerked her thumb at Julian.

If Julian had been hoping for a rescue from Garak, he was sorely disappointed.

“I’m sure it’s the thought of gagh making him ill,” Garak suggested dismissively. “Tell me, Major, are you familiar with this ‘would you rather’?”

Kira raised an eyebrow and shook her head. Jadzia grinned.

“You have to join us, Kira! It’ll be fun, I promise. Would you rather go anti-grav sailing with me again or go back to Camelot?”

“Are you trying to get me back in the holosuite?”

Julian was not an idiot. He knew that Kira and Garak combined would pick the game apart until it wasn’t enjoyable all any more. The two of them were suspicious and disdainful both of imagination in general and of each other in particular.

“No, it’s a hypothetical question,” Jadzia corrected. “Like, would you rather kiss Rom or Quark?”

Kira shuddered.

“Who’s kissing Quark?”

Miles. Of course. Of course the entire senior staff would convene with the apparent sole purpose of disrupting Julian’s attempt at a makeshift date with Garak.

His forehead hit the table with an audible _thunk_.

“What’s eating him?” Miles wanted to know.

Could this get any worse? Who would be next, Odo or Sisko?

“Well, this has been fun, but if you’ll excuse me, my lunch is finished and I have transmissions to decode.” Garak pushed his chair back and stood, pausing in his exit for an unnecessarily formal bow. “Good day.”

That was how this could get worse. No Garak at all.

Julian huffed silently against the cold metal of the table as Jadzia merrily compared the two Ferengi, to Kira’s disgust and Miles’ dismay.

This was going to be a very long shift break.

*

“I’m sorry about that, you know,” Julian announced when he got back to their shared quarters. Garak waved a hand airily.

“There’s no need to apologize. I hope you enjoyed the time with your friends.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Julian winced from the memory. “I had to say whether I would rather sleep with Morn or Kai Winn, and explain my choices. I couldn’t even look at Jadzia by the end of it.”

If he had been seeking sympathy, it was clear he was looking in the wrong place. Garak didn’t bother to hide his chuckle.

“Which did you choose?”

Julian stepped forward and reached his arms around Garak’s shoulder, knotting his hands together behind the other man’s neck.

“I would rather be sleeping with you,” Julian informed Garak, and kissed the divot on his forehead.

“Even if it means we don’t get to play more of your game?” Garak teased, hands firm around Julian’s waist.

“We still can.” Julian began to knead the back of Garak’s neck, slipping his fingers under the collar to apply pressure to sensitive scales.

He was rewarded with half-lidded eyes and a shivering inhalation.

“Must we?”

“Oh, I think it could be fun,” Julian murmured. “I could ask, would you rather watch me undress first, or have me take off your clothes? Or would you rather I bite _here_ or _here_?”

He felt Garak’s pulse surge, and considered it encouragement.

“Yes.”

“Yes to which?”

“Both.”

“That’s not how the game is played.”

“ _Julian_ ,” Garak growled, “would you _rather_ stay here or move to bed?”

Julian was going to advocate for the latter, but was interrupted by the inevitable chirp of his commbadge.

“ _Sisko to Bashir. You’re needed on the bridge, Doctor_.”

Julian groaned.

“On my way,” he grumbled, and bent his head to rest his forehead against Garak.

“I can’t help but notice that you are not, in fact, on your way to the bridge,” Garak remarked unhelpfully.

No, he wasn’t, and wouldn’t be until certain parts of his anatomy were under control.

“I noticed.”

“Think of it this way. Would you rather leave now, or receive a court-martial for failure to follow orders due to the influence of an enemy spy?”

“You’re not an enemy spy.”

“Really? Someone should inform Odo. He’ll be terribly disappointed to hear it.”

Julian pulled back with a sigh.

“We’ll come back to this later?”

“Certainly, Doctor.” Garak winked, which was going to force Julian to rethink everything he thought he knew about Cardassian ocular muscles. “You and I are never done playing games.”


End file.
